So, I've been experimenting with Morning rituals and routines for several years now. It's been perhaps the single biggest positive influence on my life, but that's kind of unfair, because lumped into it are basically all the best things I do, from meditation to journaling to exercise to walks in nature.
Regardless, it's been a huge boon to my life. I'm continually updating it, tweaking it to make it even better. I've just started adding a more vigorous morning working, adding in a jog and some chanting to accompany sun salutes, and it's fantastic. Spirituality is not about spending all day meditating, it is about balance. All elements of like can be spiritualized and should be spiritualized. To avoid some of them as "non-spiritual" like avoiding taking care of your body, is spiritual laziness. Making convenient excuses to avoid doing things that you don't want to do. You will never achieve high levels of success that way. You will piddle around in meritocracy, until you decide to face the areas of your life that you've been avoiding/neglecting. True spirituality is a balanced life, not lazy, not overly rigid and forceful. Not joyless, not hedonistic.
The things you most vehemently avoid facing are the areas that will offer you the most genuine growth. I'm working on making a habit out of going into those areas, rather than avoiding them. I know, like all reasonable (and many unreasonable) things that I set my mind to, I will eventually succeed in this endeavor, and I'm excited for that time, because the habit of going directly towards your uncomfortable spots is an incredible superpower that will turbo-charge one's growth and ability to make things happen. In addition to this "reversal of desire" as some of my teachers have called it, I am working on a second element, that is kind of the banana to the first elements peanut butter. (that is, they go together really well.):
Not trying. This is not at all laziness. It is more like absolute focus and determination and dynamic, massive action, but with zero attachment to the result. No fretting or striving, no forcing or self flagellating. You do the thing because it is right to do, and leave the results completely up to a higher power. This is the Superior way to practice any spiritual discipline, (the satvik path, as apposed to the rajasic or tamasik path) but also to practice any activity at all, in life. It's difficult and more subtle than just getting really fired up and attached to the outcome, which you could say is the rajasic or fiery way, but it yields better results, both in outcome and in state of being while in process.
Anyhoo, that's what I'm working on for the nonce:
Reversal of Desire
Renunciation of the Fruits of Action
How about you?
Monday, March 12, 2018
Saturday, February 24, 2018
Focus, Courage, Respecting Time, Repeated Failure as the Building Blocks of Success
I'm quite busy, and I think I have literally zero people who read this, excepting myself, when I do an editing pass. So; a short post.
I'm working on my powers of focus. My world is distracting. I can settle some of the chaos down, most of the time, but I move, I travel, stuff happens. I've decided that, when I cannot have a clean and supportive environment, it's not something to get frustrated about, it is a learning opportunity: how focused can I be in a distracting environment.
Also, I'm working on "eating that frog" or, in Phil Stutz's parlance, practicing reversal of desire. I want to make a habit of going directly into the things that make me uncomfortable, and doing them. Over and over, with little time in between bemoaning my failures. Massive, well directed action. Not avoiding unpleasant or scary things that need to be done.
Also, I am working on prioritization: really, this is what is meant by time management, because time is an inflexible quantity. What we can do is choose what we use that time for. There are less important things, and more important things. Why not do the most important thing, all the time. Sometimes that is rest. But rest should be of a high quality. Deeply restful, and with positive qualities to it.
In addition to that, I'm realizing that it's not just about doing the most important things, it's about doing them in the right amount of time. It is easy to take too long on them, and I need to find a way to give them enough time, but not too much time. I can get precious with things, and it does not benefit me or them at all. Much better to do and learn and do some more over and over, than to do one thing and try to make it perfect. That is a slower learning curve. It's the 80-20 rule once again. A certain amount of time is valuable, and more than that becomes wasteful, and if I'm honest with myself, and able to step back and be objective, I can usually where that point is, approximately.
I am still failing all the time with all of these, but my approach is changing. I am getting much less discouraged by my failures. I'm getting better at having a bad day, and then just bouncing back, and trying to make the next day better, learning from my mistakes. It is incredibly refreshing. Oh how I wish I had known to do this so long ago. All these years wasted, approaching things in such an inefficient and depressing way.
Ah well. Once again, I must simply let go of the past and begin again, from right now.
I'm working on my powers of focus. My world is distracting. I can settle some of the chaos down, most of the time, but I move, I travel, stuff happens. I've decided that, when I cannot have a clean and supportive environment, it's not something to get frustrated about, it is a learning opportunity: how focused can I be in a distracting environment.
Also, I'm working on "eating that frog" or, in Phil Stutz's parlance, practicing reversal of desire. I want to make a habit of going directly into the things that make me uncomfortable, and doing them. Over and over, with little time in between bemoaning my failures. Massive, well directed action. Not avoiding unpleasant or scary things that need to be done.
Also, I am working on prioritization: really, this is what is meant by time management, because time is an inflexible quantity. What we can do is choose what we use that time for. There are less important things, and more important things. Why not do the most important thing, all the time. Sometimes that is rest. But rest should be of a high quality. Deeply restful, and with positive qualities to it.
In addition to that, I'm realizing that it's not just about doing the most important things, it's about doing them in the right amount of time. It is easy to take too long on them, and I need to find a way to give them enough time, but not too much time. I can get precious with things, and it does not benefit me or them at all. Much better to do and learn and do some more over and over, than to do one thing and try to make it perfect. That is a slower learning curve. It's the 80-20 rule once again. A certain amount of time is valuable, and more than that becomes wasteful, and if I'm honest with myself, and able to step back and be objective, I can usually where that point is, approximately.
I am still failing all the time with all of these, but my approach is changing. I am getting much less discouraged by my failures. I'm getting better at having a bad day, and then just bouncing back, and trying to make the next day better, learning from my mistakes. It is incredibly refreshing. Oh how I wish I had known to do this so long ago. All these years wasted, approaching things in such an inefficient and depressing way.
Ah well. Once again, I must simply let go of the past and begin again, from right now.
Wednesday, November 1, 2017
Find faith in yourself first. All else follows.
I'm working on self-confidence and self-kindness. Having faith and trust in myself. Loving myself like a dear friend.
There are no classes in this? Why are there no instructions for how to do this? It is of utmost importance. Self-efficacy (the belief "I can do this") and self-confidence (the belief in one's own strength and skill) are keystones to success.
The placebo effect is real and powerful. More powerful than most medicines that have been invented. Truly, your self-beliefs can severely cripple or super-charge your effectiveness in just about anything you want to do. Why are we ignoring this fact?
I'm teaching in public schools, and there is nothing in the world more universally damaging to the students' happiness and success than their utter lack of self-support and confidence in themselves. It affects so many, so deeply.
I'm no longer looking for a solution just for my own sake, I'm looking for a solution because I am in a position to give that solution to many other people. I suppose I should let you know my findings, if I have any success.
There are no classes in this? Why are there no instructions for how to do this? It is of utmost importance. Self-efficacy (the belief "I can do this") and self-confidence (the belief in one's own strength and skill) are keystones to success.
The placebo effect is real and powerful. More powerful than most medicines that have been invented. Truly, your self-beliefs can severely cripple or super-charge your effectiveness in just about anything you want to do. Why are we ignoring this fact?
I'm teaching in public schools, and there is nothing in the world more universally damaging to the students' happiness and success than their utter lack of self-support and confidence in themselves. It affects so many, so deeply.
I'm no longer looking for a solution just for my own sake, I'm looking for a solution because I am in a position to give that solution to many other people. I suppose I should let you know my findings, if I have any success.
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
The enemy in your skull
This is actually an old writing of mine, on a scrap of paper, that's been sitting around in my to-do tray for months. Now I can throw out that piece of paper. Here it is, transcribed:
This path is challenging. The opponent is composed of elements of your own mind, given life, desire, and fear by beliefs you hold with such certainty you don't even realize they are beliefs, you thin, no, not even thought. Sub-thought. Almost instinct. You instinctually know these things are true, like gravity. Like the hand in front of your face. "I'm a failure" "she will hurt me" "he's out to get me" etc. Ad naus.
Only, they're not true. No more true than the monsters in your closet. That's very good news. That means there's hope.
This path is challenging. The opponent is composed of elements of your own mind, given life, desire, and fear by beliefs you hold with such certainty you don't even realize they are beliefs, you thin, no, not even thought. Sub-thought. Almost instinct. You instinctually know these things are true, like gravity. Like the hand in front of your face. "I'm a failure" "she will hurt me" "he's out to get me" etc. Ad naus.
Only, they're not true. No more true than the monsters in your closet. That's very good news. That means there's hope.
Monday, September 4, 2017
An 80-20 split: practice, read. Your prayer to the Ultimate: Live, Love, Laugh. You are held to my breast, dear child: you are safe with me.
Practice! Practice! Practice! If you read something nice in a book, practice it! If you hear something inspiring and right, live it! If you are presented with wisdom, chew on it until you've assimilated it. Then put it into practice.
There are so many words, so many books. Even the wisest of them is worth absolutely nothing if it is merely read and then left, forgotten. Better to read just one deep sentence and practice it for the rest of your life than read a mountain of the wisest literature and keep it all up in your head, intellectually understood but not embodied or lived.
You KNOW at least one wise thing that would be great if you put into practice already. Do it! Stop reading! Just start doing it for two minutes. And then, maybe again, tomorrow, for two more. And perhaps the next day. Just two minutes. Just one. That would be far more useful than reading all the wise things I or anyone else has ever written.
In general, I'd recommend maybe an 80-20 split, of doing to reading. 20% learning wisdom, 80% practicing it. But better to err on the side of too much doing. 80% means not just for a few minutes a day, while sitting in meditation. It means all of life should become a meditation. A walking, breathing prayer to the Ultimate, to the light of Absolute good that is the fabric of reality. That is Love, full and without condition.
Live it. As much as you can, live it. Do it. Stop thinking about it. Don't be afraid. Put your trust in that Light like a child laying back in its mother's arms and it will hold and protect you like a perfect parent. Don't worry about messing it up. Life is supposed to be messy. You're supposed to mess it up. Sometimes. But we keep going, and God doesn't love you any less, in fact he, we, all, love you even more, for having tried. For continuing to try, for not giving up. It means nothing if success is guaranteed every time, first time. Live, and get dirty, and know that you are loved like the dirty, mud-covered child you are. Laugh at it. It's really pretty funny, when you get a large enough perspective. Except for the sad people who have forgotten how to laugh. Who have forgotten so much.
Be brave in your joy. Do not fear it. I wish that for all of you. And of course for myself, for whome this post is most for.
There are so many words, so many books. Even the wisest of them is worth absolutely nothing if it is merely read and then left, forgotten. Better to read just one deep sentence and practice it for the rest of your life than read a mountain of the wisest literature and keep it all up in your head, intellectually understood but not embodied or lived.
You KNOW at least one wise thing that would be great if you put into practice already. Do it! Stop reading! Just start doing it for two minutes. And then, maybe again, tomorrow, for two more. And perhaps the next day. Just two minutes. Just one. That would be far more useful than reading all the wise things I or anyone else has ever written.
In general, I'd recommend maybe an 80-20 split, of doing to reading. 20% learning wisdom, 80% practicing it. But better to err on the side of too much doing. 80% means not just for a few minutes a day, while sitting in meditation. It means all of life should become a meditation. A walking, breathing prayer to the Ultimate, to the light of Absolute good that is the fabric of reality. That is Love, full and without condition.
Live it. As much as you can, live it. Do it. Stop thinking about it. Don't be afraid. Put your trust in that Light like a child laying back in its mother's arms and it will hold and protect you like a perfect parent. Don't worry about messing it up. Life is supposed to be messy. You're supposed to mess it up. Sometimes. But we keep going, and God doesn't love you any less, in fact he, we, all, love you even more, for having tried. For continuing to try, for not giving up. It means nothing if success is guaranteed every time, first time. Live, and get dirty, and know that you are loved like the dirty, mud-covered child you are. Laugh at it. It's really pretty funny, when you get a large enough perspective. Except for the sad people who have forgotten how to laugh. Who have forgotten so much.
Be brave in your joy. Do not fear it. I wish that for all of you. And of course for myself, for whome this post is most for.
Sunday, August 27, 2017
Self-compassion
Working on loving myself, accepting myself, not being so hypercritical.
Self-criticism is a defense mechanism. It keeps others from criticising us. Also, it's a sign in general of our ability to be non-judgmental, of others as well as ourselves. It's easier to be non-critical of people who are strangers or acquaintances, but once people get close to us, the judgments come. Thus being self-critical likely means, perhaps inevitably means, that person will harbor judgment and criticism for family and romantic partners.
God is unconditional love. The truth of the universe is unconditional love. For all of you, for each of you.
This does not mean the universe condones behavior that is not in line with the Tao, with Dharma, with Righteousness. But the saying is hate the behavior, not the person. Never the person. Hate the ignorance that is warping the behavior, but know that at the core of all of us is a perfect divine spark.
The question I have is how to reconcile these two seeming opposites: radical and unconditional self (and other) acceptance and love, and radical self-responsibility and the holding of oneself to a high standard of Righteous behavior. Love and acceptance but not permissiveness.
I don't know what that feels like. It's mostly one or the other for me. Need to investigate further and ask for enlightenment on the matter from Life, God, my higher self.
My first lead is just trying to talk to myself like I'm talking to a cute little kid. Externalizing that makes it easier to understand, because it's easier to forgive and be compassionate towards others.
Self-criticism is a defense mechanism. It keeps others from criticising us. Also, it's a sign in general of our ability to be non-judgmental, of others as well as ourselves. It's easier to be non-critical of people who are strangers or acquaintances, but once people get close to us, the judgments come. Thus being self-critical likely means, perhaps inevitably means, that person will harbor judgment and criticism for family and romantic partners.
God is unconditional love. The truth of the universe is unconditional love. For all of you, for each of you.
This does not mean the universe condones behavior that is not in line with the Tao, with Dharma, with Righteousness. But the saying is hate the behavior, not the person. Never the person. Hate the ignorance that is warping the behavior, but know that at the core of all of us is a perfect divine spark.
The question I have is how to reconcile these two seeming opposites: radical and unconditional self (and other) acceptance and love, and radical self-responsibility and the holding of oneself to a high standard of Righteous behavior. Love and acceptance but not permissiveness.
I don't know what that feels like. It's mostly one or the other for me. Need to investigate further and ask for enlightenment on the matter from Life, God, my higher self.
My first lead is just trying to talk to myself like I'm talking to a cute little kid. Externalizing that makes it easier to understand, because it's easier to forgive and be compassionate towards others.
Friday, June 30, 2017
Maximum Berry
The ripe berry comes easily from the bush.
It sounds like a koan, and perhaps it is, but it's a nature koan. Something that is simply an observation of how nature functions, and inherently profound, because nature is smart.
I was tugging on some raspberries that looked like they might be ripe in the garden at my house, but they weren't coming off, and I knew better than to force them off. If they're not ripe, they are disappointingly sour.
I think this is perhaps a good metaphor for the idea of rushing and forcing things to happen before they are ready. Some things happen in the ripeness of time, and that cannot be rushed. pulling on a sprout will not make it grow faster, it will just damage and perhaps kill it.
Intelligent discrimination must be used in the application of this nature koan. One could misapply the Berry Maxim to excuse procrastination or lack of hard work. But again, nature shows the way: there is a season for everything, and when the berry is ripe, or the acorns are dropping, there is intense activity with laser focus. I guess you could make a more well-rounded maxim by saying: know when it is time to rest, and when it is time to act, and whichever it is, do it with the entirety of your being.
May you carry the wisdom of the seasons with you. Goodbye until next time. (which is apparently in a day? So says my calendar. Must have been really late getting this one out.)
It sounds like a koan, and perhaps it is, but it's a nature koan. Something that is simply an observation of how nature functions, and inherently profound, because nature is smart.
I was tugging on some raspberries that looked like they might be ripe in the garden at my house, but they weren't coming off, and I knew better than to force them off. If they're not ripe, they are disappointingly sour.
I think this is perhaps a good metaphor for the idea of rushing and forcing things to happen before they are ready. Some things happen in the ripeness of time, and that cannot be rushed. pulling on a sprout will not make it grow faster, it will just damage and perhaps kill it.
Intelligent discrimination must be used in the application of this nature koan. One could misapply the Berry Maxim to excuse procrastination or lack of hard work. But again, nature shows the way: there is a season for everything, and when the berry is ripe, or the acorns are dropping, there is intense activity with laser focus. I guess you could make a more well-rounded maxim by saying: know when it is time to rest, and when it is time to act, and whichever it is, do it with the entirety of your being.
May you carry the wisdom of the seasons with you. Goodbye until next time. (which is apparently in a day? So says my calendar. Must have been really late getting this one out.)
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