Projectile Vomiting while Driving Cross Country: A Study in Gratitude. Part 1

So, this last week:

Drove from Connecticut to Maryland, to my sister's house for Christmas. Spent time with the sis, and played with her kids (five and two) while she, and my parents, took care of things for the coming third baby (due right around the new year.) The two year old spent much of the first day running around naked, scratching her butt and putting her butt-smell hands all over everything while I cringed inwardly.

I'm waaaaaaaay more comfortable with little children now, after a teacher training and several of the SSE children's classes I've sat in on and helped teach as an assistant. There's certainly further to go though in the confidence department, especially with toddlers. The whole waste management aspect of childcare still gives me deer in headlights syndrome, but I at least now have confidence that, faced with the necessity and responsibility, I will overcome that discomfort as well and learn how to handle poop like a champ.

I later found out that the two year old might have had a stomach thing that was passing through the household and had already landed on my dad. I seemed to have dodged the bullet, and left the third day, starting the drive to Iowa. I stopped near dinner time and got some cheddar filled pretzel bites at Auntie Annie's at a service plaza along the way, and then pulled into an Econo Lodge for the night.

Let me interject some sage wisdom at this point: NEVER EAT AUNTIE ANNIE'S CHEDDAR FILLED PRETZEL BITES OH GOD PLEASE NO WHY!? THE PAIN WHY!!!?

Perhaps it was because I was currently successfully fighting off a stomach bug. Perhaps it was food poisoning. For certain, I was curled up in the bed, cursing the breach in my no fast food policy, feeling all sorts of interesting things happening in and around my stomach. I tossed and turned all night, sweating (because I cranked the heat up all the way and put a neck warmer on my head) and contemplating the pros and cons of vomiting. Not much sleep, but what I did get gave me some very interesting and vivid dreams.

I got up well before the sun rose, since I wasn't getting much sleep anyways, bought some Tums or something, orange juice, smart water, and curled up into a ball in the driver's seat with the cruise control on so I didn't have to keep my foot on the gas peddle. The tums made it worse. The smart water made it worse, the orange juice, in small quantities, did not make it worse, so I stuck with that, because I was getting a throbbing rhythm going in my head from dehydration.

Then, with a few stops to pass out for some sick-cat naps, I drove ten hours cross country, got to my aunt's house, and immediately passed out in bed.

Why am I telling you this? Aside from the mirth derived from other people's misfortune? Tune in for part 2  to find out ;)