Monday, May 11, 2020

Discipline, Action, Reflection. Love, Service, Happiness.

I posted for the month of April in May, so this post will officially be for May.

"Discipline is the mark of intelligent living"
I read that quote and wrote it on a sticky-note and have been looking at it frequently. It is so easy to slide into indiscipline with the COVID19 pandemic, with being home, reduced work hours, reduced accountability. But that means it's more important than ever to do the things that keep you .

Some day, relatively soon (even if it's a hundred years from now) we will all die, and our lives will have been a waste, if we did not grow, love, live with purpose. Do you want to die on your deathbed full of regrets?

Imagine the best possible version of yourself, standing before you. What are they like? What does it feel like to be in their presence. Now imagine yourself on your deathbed, having lived a life of mediocrity. Imagine both those selves before you, looking at you. If you start to feel a bit uncomfortable, good. Use that to fuel some action, even if it's just a small action, towards becoming that best version of you. Small, manageable steps are all that is needed, if you make a habit of taking them every day.

Discipline. Anders Ericsson has made it very clear in his scientific work that you have no excuse for not becoming amazing at something you want to become amazing at. It takes hard work and practice in specific ways, but it does not take innate talent. Much more important is focusing on how to create the habits and motivation that get you practicing in the right way, every day.

More than any specific skill is just the quality of how you have lived, how you are living. Are you enjoying life, sharing love, connecting, being of service, being true to yourself, your own internal compass of rightness. Just do that, and you're doing well. And you don't need to do it all at once. Small steps in that direction every day. But staying on that path requires feeding the fire regularly. What inspires you? Feed yourself that.

This pandemic is not really that different from everyday life, in the fundamentals. We eat, breath, sleep, interact with each other. We can choose to cherish what we're grateful for or bemoan what we don't have. Viktor Frankl was in the Nazi concentration camps, so when he says it is your mind that makes of any situation a heaven or hell, it carries more weight that the average person saying that. But regardless, it's true. If you don't know how, then that's the first step. Start researching. Maybe start with a gratitude journal and some TED talks. It's possible, the information is out there, it just requires your persistent practice. Happiness is to a large degree, a choice. But not a choice you make like ordering a burger and fries, it's a choice you make every day, every moment, via the actions you take, where you choose to focus your attention. We don't control the thoughts that come into our head, but we do have a lot of control over where we place our attention. Like someone has thrown a bucket of words on your floor at night, but you have the flashlight, so you get to decide where you point it.

Action is key. I almost always have enough information, it is action where we mostly fall short. Take action, reflect on the results, and integrate that into further action. This is how we grow and evolve very quickly. There's a bit more to it than that. I'm working out the details myself, but someday I'd love to share it, teach it. It's all part of the meta-skill of learning. Learning how to learn. Mastering how to master things.

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