The pathway towards an answer. An important question. A horrible Blog name.

The title of this blog feels deeply pretentious and uncomfortable. It was good at the time. I'm wondering if it's even worthwhile continuing it. Perhaps it's time to retire it. I already have one blog, and that's enough to keep track of. Too bad if so, because I've been experiencing tremendous growth and integration. 

I've been focusing on taking actions that are most useful to me. I forget where I heard this quote: "there are always more good ideas than you have time for."

It's true. All choice, and perhaps all creation, involves death. You're killing possibilities. Like some cheesy sci-fi movie where someone is going back in time and killing alternate versions of themselves so there's only one remaining. That's what you have to do. Whenever you decide to do something, you are deciding not to do all the other things.

This could lead to maddening or paralysing confusion, as you sit motionless, trying furiously to figure out what the one very best action to perform is. But I don't think it works that way, exactly. We have duties to do. They are not always the most flashy things to do. Maybe you're a farmer, and your just hoeing the field and planting seeds. You're not the president, or some cutting edge scientist developing a solution to the world's drinking problems. If they dropped their hoes and all went to college, there would be no one making food. Doing the most useful thing is two fold: one, what is your dharma. Your responsibilities, your job, your duty to society? More deeply, in what way can you move through life with integrity to your highest values?

And most high, how can you do, whatever specific thing it is you have to do, with dignity and as an act of highest worship and spiritual practice? It's not about what you do, it's about how you do it. The quality behind your act determines the results, and particularly good qualities ripple out into the world and universe, no matter the specific actions. It's about living your life moment to moment in that integrity. Whatever the specific, often hum-drum acts you are engaging it.

Lately I've been getting more focused on this, and the results are a deeply rich experience of life. I can feel it, this is the pathway to an answer for a question I've carried with me since high school at least: how do I lead a worthwhile life? How do I live so I'm not full of regret, when I die?